“I don’t have a choice”

This is a very DEADLY statement.

Lets explore this phrase further –

When you say this to yourself or to someone else..

• – You have limited yourself to what you know.
• – Its the same as saying there is no other solution, and
• – You have prevented yourself from being creative. 

When you say this statement, it’s like you have surrendered your destiny for what you think is the only option.

Although it can be true that there are situations where it seems there’s only one solution..

Instead of saying –

“I don’t have a choice”

Say, “It’s a choice I have to make right now, but I hope to find a BETTER SOLUTION.”

Or “That’s the first thing I can think of right now, but I’m open to other possibilities.”

In this way you are still opening yourself to the possibility that there may be other choices out there. Also, it’s more like you’re taking responsibility for making a choice rather than being a prisoner to your situation.

Because the truth is, there are a lot of options. Even with the result that you want to have and even within the boundaries of morality and values you want to keep – there are still many options, at least there’s more than one.

And so to say you don’t have a choice feels as if you’re a prisoner to your situation.

So if you want to transform your life, change your words.

The wisest book I know has this quote – “the tongue has the power of life and death.”

Which means the words that are coming out of your mouth can actually BRING LIFE and create things, and it can actually kill, or destroy something in existence.

So when you keep on saying “I don’t have a choice,” you may actually be killing the other choices thats available to you. 

Instead of opportunities coming your way to present itself as another option that could be better than what you currently have, you may then really be limited to that one choice, because you made it that way.

That same book tells us that “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks,” which means the very words that we use is a result of what we actually believe in.

Tell me honestly – In general, when you hear the words “I don’t have a choice,”

Would you ever smile after hearing that statement? 

Do you find hope in that answer? 

Can you see a fountain of joy welling up inside that person who is uttering those words at that very moment?

Or does that answer sound hopeless? Does it sound pitiful? Does it sound depressing? Does it sound like an excuse?

So is it the latter or the former?

I think you know the answer.

“I don’t have a choice” actually sounds very disempowering, as if you’re helpless and weak.

And seriously, isn’t the opposite of “I don’t have a choice” is “I have a choice?”

Doesn’t “I have a choice” sound more empowering?

But the big question is –

Why do you still keep using “I don’t have a choice?”

Now if you want to get rid of this phrase totally, not only should the words go, but also the mentality that stems from it.

I think you can do this at the same time.

Here’s how you can start getting rid of it.

First, ask people you frequently chat with for a small favor. Whether these are friends on social media, face to face or whatever, it doesn’t matter.

Tell them – if you see/hear me say “I don’t have a choice,” could you let me know right away and just tell me I did that.

You don’t need to explain to them anything unless they ask (and if they do ask, you can just say, “I just want to know how often I say it,”).

But what you’re doing here is allowing yourself to be aware that you’re saying it (especially if you’re doing it unconsciously).

And then the second part is correcting yourself once they call your attention or once you catch yourself.

What you really need to be aware of is – whenever your’e faced with a difficult choice, and it feels like theres only one choice, you’ve gotta train your brain to accept that there are other choices you may not have considered yet, and that you are the one responsible for making choices for our situation, not the other way around.

Because YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE. And you’re creative enough to think of other choices.

So you can say something like – “I meant to say that I have a choice, but this is one of the choices I can think of right now”.

Do that even when you’re alone.

I know – it might look like you’re a crazy person talking you yourself. But if really want to change your mind, well, that’s choice you just have to make.

-KDL