Hey friend,

Listen carefully.

I’m going to explain something here that requires your full attention.

And I really want you to grasp this concept.

Because if you haven’t been introduced to this before,

I’m pretty sure it will open your consciousness to a whole new level of clarity.

And if, like me, you decide to pursue this further, it may just be that very thing that will drive you to where you want to go.

Here it is – 

“Everything you do is based on what you value.”

Again.

“Everything you do is based on what you value.”

Hmm.. that didn’t sound like an important revelation, did it?

That’s probably because the word “value” is used in so many different contexts. 

So let me paraphrase – 

“Everything you do is based on what is most important to you at that moment”

Here are some examples to illustrate – 

You’ve decided to enrol in dancing class to help you lose weight, but someone watching suddenly laughed while watching your dance. You figured it was you he’s laughing at.

What would you do in that moment?

If you suddenly decide to quit class and say it’s not for you, what really happened was that you mostly likely have placed more value in your ego, your pride, and the opinion of other people over your desire to go to dance class. At that moment, your ego was more important.

If you decide to move to an earlier class where there are less people and no bystanders, you might be giving more value to your intention of losing weight and looking fit but still value somewhat of what other people think about you. At that moment, looking fit was still more important than your ego.

If you decide to stay and not care about people’s reaction to how you dance – you probably value your intention of losing weight and do not value what other people think about you. At that moment, looking fit was definitely more important.

If you confront the person for snickering, you’re perhaps giving more value to standing up for yourself, protecting your pride, and/or not tolerating bullying. At that moment, protecting your pride or having justice was most important.

Now these are just theoretical assumptions because there may be other factors at play here. For example, you may value living a longer life or want to pursue a dancing career and that’s why you enrolled in a dance class.

Ok, here’s another example.

You were given a job offer that’s 10x your current income. Except the job requires you to be in a dangerous environment that will surely affect your health.

If you take the job, you probably value making money regardless of the conditions much more than your health

If you don’t take the job, it may mean you value your health more than earning more money.

Of course there are more factors involved than just what I’ve mentioned. 

The factor that you regard of highest importance is what you value in that situation.

When you hit that snooze button for the 5th time to spare you 10 minutes of sleep vs getting to work on time, it can mean you value being comfortable than being on time. 

Unfortunately, that can also mean you’re not valuing other people’s time.

Can you stick with your no-sugar diet for 30 days? Or are you putting more value on being able to temporarily satisfy your taste buds?

Now, you may be asking – ok, how do I use this knowledge.

If everything I do is based on what I value, how can I use this to make better choices?

The thing is – most people don’t know what they value.

That’s why you keep on buying courses you don’t need, messing up your diet, getting stressed with your job, your relationships, your life, etc.

You see, normally, you don’t consciously choose what you value, unless you’ve defined what you value. And even than, it’s not an assurance.

It means, if you don’t know what you value, your actions will tell you what you value.

And this is why in the last lesson, in our discussion of self-control, that this one thing – value – is what drives you to be able to exercise self-control to make better choices.

But what now?

To be able to exercise self control, you need to define what you value so that you can start practicing on acting according to what you define as important.

There are two important phases in doing this.

Phase 1 is an awareness of the current values that you have that’s causing the choices that you’re making, and

Phase 2 is defining values that you would like to have and consciously embrace.

But before we go there – we need to talk about the power of choices.

Which is what we will be discussing in the next lesson.

For now, go ahead and experiment on figuring out the things that you think you currently value based on the choices that you’ve already made.

It’s really just about being aware of your motivation for making those choices.

For example, one choice I made today was to agree to pick up a friend at the airport at 5:30AM vs telling him I can’t pick him up that early (insert excuse here).

I agreed to pick him up because I value our friendship more than an extra hour of sleep. Unconsciously, I definitely value our friendship more than spending for gas, which is required for me to be able to pick him up.

(That didn’t even cross my mind, although it is one of the factors for why or why not I will agree to pick him up.)

You maybe tempted not do to this, but I urge you – go ahead and experiment on this awareness exercise.

You may be rusty at first, but that’s ok.

The earlier to start learning how to process the way you act, the easier it gets and the faster you’ll gain clarity and confidence in your life.

Cheering for your success!

-KDL